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swagamander

mecto—amorous:

consistentlyaverage:

mecto—amorous:

two robots who are girlfriends and one is super high tech and the other is kind of a cheap poorly made model and shes really self conscious compared to her shiny new state of the art girlfriend but the high tech girlfriend is like shhshhshh no baby ur adorable glitches and faulty parts and all

So basically lesbian wall.e?

#is it even 100%certain that wall.e is a guy anyway

I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK YOU’RE HIRED

(Source: sorters)

You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

-Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x) 

Anthony Mackie is a gift to all mankind. 

(via bartdontlie)

anybody think the manager would have reacted this way to RDJ? ‘Cause I’m going with a no.

(via unlockaflockofwords)

(Source: fwips)

Posted 3 days ago with 78,429 notes | Reblog

undeadcosmicunicorn:

Impulse - $6.99

Posted 3 days ago with 43,278 notes | Reblog
im-not-your-noona:

A parents expectations

im-not-your-noona:

A parents expectations

(Source: toptastic)

Posted 3 days ago with 230,743 notes | Reblog

funnuraba:

SHOUTOUT TO CATS FOR GETTING THEIR CLAWS STUCK IN THINGS AND THEN WHEN YOU HELP THEY GET OFFENDED THAT YOU TOUCHED THEIR PAW

Posted 3 days ago with 91,031 notes | Reblog

petersassybritcheshale:

Posted 3 days ago with 60,064 notes | Reblog

iwillbe-0verjoyed:

If you think instrumental music is stupid you can decrescendo out of my life

Posted 3 days ago with 189,378 notes | Reblog
brokensilence137:

dynaroo:



I think this bird got confused when someone told him he belonged in the sky.
He decided to be the sky instead.

brokensilence137:

dynaroo:

image

I think this bird got confused when someone told him he belonged in the sky.

He decided to be the sky instead.

Posted 3 days ago with 262,936 notes | Reblog

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

archivesofgallifrey:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

willgrahamps:

wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple

image

because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.

It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like 

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”

Posted 3 days ago with 258,014 notes | Reblog

sassycappy87:

Putting on your bra when your skin is wet is like wrestling with satan

Posted 3 days ago with 87,304 notes | Reblog

official-news:

easternstatic:

official-news:

So, time for an actual fact: 

Studies have shown that if the school week was shortened students’ health would improve by 90% and they’d do better on big test. 

I really want help spreading this to school boards, school is on of the main reasons students are sad and stressed. 

can someone source this cause no one will buy it if the only proof is a tumblr post.

Happy